Love the Children - 2010

No matter what you teach them, just please love my kids...

Reminiscing!

As I sit here today thinking about my sons, especially Andrew since it is his birthday, I am reminded of how precious children are.  I don’t believe there is a mother on this earth that loves her children any more than I love mine.  Not saying they can’t love them the same as I love mine, but doubt anyone can love them more.  My family and I had a terrible accident in 1998, and Andrew (who was 9 at the time) was killed as a result of the accident.  Yes, we were devastated and changed forever. 

In one evening we went from the loud, yelling, and often screaming, rambunctious household with two boys (who were 16 months apart in age) to the single thudding sound of a lone child trying to make the goal with his basketball.  Yes, as providence would have it, Gideon (our youngest) went from the baby of the family to the only living child in a split second of time.  

Seriously, my husband and I probably broke every rule in the child-rearing department after Andrew’s death.  I know I spoiled Gideon.  I would have killed to protect him, and probably will still kill to protect him although he is almost 21, which brings me to the point of my blog.  Our children in America deserve protection. 

Love the kids!

I love children.  I firmly believe in protecting, training, and providing for them.  And regardless of whether it has been in my own home, church, or school, I have always been an advocate of children.  If you want to see me get upset (and I know there are those who may read this blog who may say, “we see that enough.”) then let me see a child who is neglected, abused, or hurt because of the actions of an adult. 

When I taught, I looked at every child as though he/she was my own.  That included discipline when I felt it was needed.   For a time, I was in a school district that allowed corporal punishment, and yes I had a paddle (actually several paddles).  They were useless in reality.  Kids would beg me to paddle them so they could sign THE BIG O.  A few years ago my principal at the time needed a paddle (teachers were no longer allowed to paddle at this time, yet I still had THE BIG O as a reminder of the old days).  He asked to borrow my paddle, so I let him.  He kept it for several months, and one night some of the students broke into the school.  Guess what was part of the stolen goods.  THE BIG O.  Wish I knew who had it.  I would love to have it back to remember all my students, because they all signed it whether they had ever been paddled or not. 

THE BIG O is a reminder to me that all kids want to be loved.  I had said many times to my students, “I discipline you because I love you.”  Well, that was important to them.  They wanted to be loved.  YES, even middle schoolers.  They wanted you to care.  If you don’t believe kids think deeply, just ask them to tell you what they think.  One time I used this to start the day with my kids (not everything in my class had to be about science).  I asked them to finish this old adage with their own “TRUE” ending: Sticks and stone may break my bones, but your words .... You would be so surprised to see how insightful middle school students can be.  I was amazed at the responses I got from them.  I have them filed away somewhere in a Word Doc.  One day I will publish them. 

It is my firm belief that all teachers should first love children, then their content areas.  And trust me, kids can spot a “fake” from a hundred miles away.  My students always knew those teachers who cared, and those who just taught for the job.  And they didn’t mind telling you.  They were quite observant.  They could tell you who was having a bad day; who they thought was flirting with another teacher; who was getting a divorce; which teachers hated each other.  If we could have just channeled all their observations into productive learning, what great minds would we have today.  I would like to think that we did in many ways. 

Enable learning!

Call me an enabler if you want, I hated to give a child a bad grade.  I would retest, give them an opportunity to correct their answers for partial credit, extend deadlines, and do whatever it took for them to learn in my class.  Why?  Because learning was the point, not punishment.  These are kids in TRAINING!  We often forget this.  We extend to children punishment and consequences that we ourselves try to get away from in life. 

Kids need advocates, and they need real people in their lives.  They do not need to see hypocrisy in adults.  Don’t penalize them for being late on assignments, when you are late for work every day.  Don’t penalize them for needing extra time on a test, when you ask for extensions on your bills or loans.  Don’t scold them for asking for a grade replacement when you enter into bankruptcy or reduced payments to pay off your obligations.  Be real to them. 

Be the example!

If you are going to set high expectations for your students (and I did this on a regular basis), set high expectations for yourself.  Don’t be mediocre and expect exceptionality from your students.  Don’t expect them to “wow” you on a paper when you bore them to tears with your staged, monotone lessons.  Model exceptionality for them, or don’t be surprised when you get status quo from them.  I believe kids are mirror images into the souls of the adults around them.  If you want better kids, be a better example. 

Students all across this great country need teachers who will rise up and take charge of their learning.  Do not expect society to provide the solutions; do not expect the government to provide the solutions (although their funding is nice); do not expect parents to provide the solutions.  You are the highly trained professional charged with invoking student learning.  DO YOUR JOB! And do it with dignity and honor. Take pride in the noblest profession on earth. 

Be the change agent!

Our society is fragile.  There are many, many issues which could lead to the destruction of our civilization.  One thing that can help change the destructive course of a civilization is KNOWLEDGE.  As teachers, you have the capability of imparting KNOWLEDGE to your students.  Yet, before they will listen to you, you must have their trust.  Build trust in your students.  Let them know you are an adult that they can count on.  Show them your weaknesses.  Ask them to help you with your weaknesses as you help them through theirs.  Be real to them.  Love them.  And provide them with the greatest opportunity in the world to be successful.  That’s all I ever asked from my son’s teachers.  That’s what I tried to give every parent’s child who became my students.  This is how we overcome the challenges in our schools today!